Music to my ears

Intelligent commentary. Music that surfs the soul – nestling in faraway places.

Canwest music critics from across the country have each selected their favourite album of the decade. Better yet, they explain why.

From the healing elixir of Patty Griffin’s melancholic vibes to the film noir romanticism of Tom Waits – the chosen discs are lush, dark and brooding.

Surprisingly, many are Canadian: Metric, Broken Social Scene, Arcade Fire. All this alongside such epic American songsters as Bob Dylan and Johnny Cash.

Check out the entertainment section at www.theprovince.com

Reconfigure your inner revolution.

Two-for-one

“Well, Jesus WAS Jewish,

and WE believe in Jesus,

so….that DOES kind of make us Jews too.”

(12-year old son’s attempt to cash in on Hannukah)

It’s a good thing

Comedy is heating up again. After a tiny sabbatical, I’m back at it.

I’m delighted to work as the on-set Comedian for the taping of a new television sitcom filming until December. Filmed in front of a live studio audience – show execs need a comedian to keep the crowd happy and entertained in between set changes.

Other gigs:
Thursday, October 8th – Performing at the Kingston Comedy Club, 755 Richards. Show time at 9:00.

Corporate Comedy Show – November 28th for a Vancouver fundraising/Christmas event.

Corporate Comedy Show – December 4th for CGI Limited. I’ll entertain employees after their Christmas dinner. Note to self: Make fun of HR Department Head.

I am smiling.

Sliding doors

Note to self:

When backing car out at 4:00 a.m.
always remember to open garage door.

Son Slash Poet

“My oopsie daisies are full up
with the sweet dinner
of reluctant change.”

My 11-year old son’s response to the question: “Do you want seconds of dinner?”

Great, big, musical sea

Today: The sky is blue. The mountains clear. The sun HOT. And, the ocean awaits. I’m heading with my 16-year old son to the Summer Sessions concert at Ambleside Beach in West Vancouver. Neil Young, Sarah McLachlan, Sheryl Crow and more. The event sold out on the first day and FOR ONCE I got my act together and got tickets. They’re rare and definitely out of my budget. Absolutely, too expensive for teenagers. But, for ONCE, I clicked the ‘buy tickets’ button. A moment of impulse. But, I’ve been a Neil Young fan for so bloody long and I’ve never seen the guy. And, I long to hear ‘Southern Man’ live.

The stage is set between Cypress Mountain and the ocean for the lucky 9,000 attendees. It’s a 15-minute bike ride from my home. I’m treating my son. Kind of a welcome back to school ‘outing’ after his first week back (and before he begins a heavy year). He is excited. Neil Young has intrigued him lately (along with Bob Dylan, Eric Clapton and other legends). His last concert was ‘Rise Against’ with his buddies. I like that he’s open to different musical styles. I feel honoured that I can add to his palette.

Proceeds from today’s concert go to the Sarah McLachlan Foundation, which provides free music programs to youth in under-served communities. Music has the power to enrich lives, spur creativity, and nurture self-esteem in young, at-risk children. A cause to get behind. With the Pacific Ocean on one side – and the mountains on the other – there’s no place I’d rather be. (And, hey, it’s sponsored by SHORE 104 – ‘Roots, Rock, Rhythm’, baby). Mmmm, better than ice cream.

Cut. Action. Air Kiss.

Today, my hairdresser showed me a new way to style my hair.

She said: “Colleen, THIS is going to change your life!”

And, she was right!

I arrived home to discover I’ve been nominated for a 2009 CLIO award for my tireless advertising work on the Anheuser Busch campaign (when others zig I ZAG – see)? See what I did right there? Zig. ZAG. THAT, my friend, is the secret to shilling the golden nectar. (THAT…and blonde, lithe dance babes in crop tops).

I was also just named as a finalist for this year’s International Man Booker Prize for a work that can only be described as a ’soaring love story of colossal proportions’ unfurled over 783 pages with a fold-out historical family tree and map of Middle Eastern countries, circa 1939. (Did I mention it takes place during the Holocaust)?

Just heard word that my alternative theory on cold fusion and its inverse relationship to the number of Grape Slurpees purchased in the State of Kentucky in 1984 will be published in next issue of Scientific American (FINALLY).

Oh, and I was invited to preside over this year’s Cannes Film Festival Jury replacing current President, French Actress Isabelle Huppert, who abruptly withdrew after the unexpected loss of a beauty spot. That… and an unfortunate incident with an Evinrude 35 Horse Power stainless steel outboard motor (unrelated to beauty spot debacle and NOTHING to do with me). SO, step aside Atom Egoyan – you and your farsically named Arsinee soulmate, with your unsettling neon tales of haunting erotica. And, don’t get me started on YOU, Mr. Cronenberg – King of Venereal Horror. Enough of your kinky hood ornament tendencies – your twisted diatribes depicting twisted gynecologists with twisted minds twisting and untwisting the legs of unsuspecting lovelies hoisted upon cold, steel medical stirrups (all of this without proper HMO coverage, I might add). Bien sur. Ce n’est pas formidable. There will be NONE of this sordid cinematic defiance, my dear Palme D’Or afficionados.

THIS year, we celebrate…

SLAPSTICK.

Thank you Magic Cuts.

I can’t WAIT to see what tomorrow brings.

Comedy with a cherry on top

FIVE GOOD THINGS:

1) September 2nd, ‘Capone’s Comedy & All That Jazz’ (a mixed slate of indie musicians and seasoned comedians), 1140 Hamilton St. Showtime – 9:00 p.m.

2) September 10th, Kingston Comedy, 755 Richards St. Showtime – 9:30 p.m.

3) September 24th, Zawa’s Comedy, 920 Commercial, Showtime – 8:30 p.m.

4) Supporting someone through a life/career transition.

5) Cherry season. (Okay, I’ve since discovered I’m allergic to them. Will still gaze longingly).

Note: This post written with a swollen mouth.

Eyes wide open

Driving home from work, mid-day. Leonard Cohen songs doing their ethereal thing on the stereo. OR, my wonderful, new Wilco CD (a gorgeous surprise!) – its erratic cadence working its way through my limbs. My commute home is a time of peace, solitude (albeit music soaring). This is my ritual: Driving through Stanley Park’s causeway – I inhale the forest air. Deep breaths – drinking in the earth. I approach the bridge. Mountains clear and green before me. Slash of blue sky. The perfect screensaver for life. Tendrils of steel suspending the bridge above the sea. I cross. Roll down all four windows. Wind chafes my face. Hair whips my cheeks. I crank the music up. Way up – filling the space with lyric and harmony.

Water. Sky. Air. Forest. Mountains. Music. Me.

Sometimes you just need a break from comedy.

Will Work for Cold Air

Tonight: One of the hottest (and coolest) rooms in town – The Kingston, 755 Richards.

I’ll be working the room. Showtime: 9:30 p.m.

Come for the jokes.

Stay for the air-conditioning.

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