The smell of steeped concrete. And, shattered dreams. A life compilation of unfortunate decisions played out in sagging strip motels in hues of dusty rose and foam green, with 1960’s cursive on the marquee: ‘Stay for a night. Stay for a week! Stay for the rest of your sotted and lonely life!” The kind of sad, low-lying cement squats complete with teeny, kidney-shaped pools and long-forgotten, rusted lounge chairs. Where dead bodies are folded into suitcases, messily stuffed behind the ground floor ice machine, or self-propelled from the roof of Honest Arnie’ (Liquor! Cigs! Gaming! Tattoos!).
And, there’s the other Vegas. The glinty. The glittery. Where lions are showcased in glass cases for snapshot happy tourists. Where platinum is the new gold. Money is the new happiness. And, lives, ironically, not that far removed from the mortals at the dusty rose oasis. Oh, there are shows, shows, shows. A dancer could find work within the half-hour. A Vegas slogan: ‘Making the world a better place one dancer at a time.’ (or was that Kierkegaard)?
Appearing (and disappearing) nightly: Magic. Though, sometimes magic gets ugly. Sometimes magic gets competitive. There’s ‘The World’s GREATEST Magic Show’, and, ‘Steve Wyrick – REAL Magic’, and ‘The ONLY Magic Show’, and ‘The Strip’s Best & Only Truly Worthy Magic Show’, and, ‘The BESTEST, MOST IMPORTANTIST, SCREW THE OTHERS, Magic Extravaganza’ (fun for the whole family). Then, there’s Penn & Teller.
Meh. I hate magic.
There’s something called ‘Little Legends’. Celebrity impersonations performed by…midgets. And, another called ’The Lucky Chengs’. Celebrity impersonations performed by…Asian people. To each…his/her bizarre own.
Visit the ‘All You Can Eat Buffet’ that tastes like – chicken. Fetish-inclined? Become an embedded shopper at the outlet mall devoted entirely to shoes.
Meh. I hate shopping.
At least, there’s COMEDY, folks. Is this a place where peaked, over-cooked, “what the Hell do I do now?” comedians go to die? Palliative Comic Care for the Rich? We’ve got Roseanne Barr, Seinfeld, Ray Romano, Jay Leno,Â Bobby Slayton, George Wallace, Louie Anderson, Wayne Brady, Rita Rudner, Wanda Sykes…
Tonight. 11:00 p.m., AJ’s Comedy Night in Vegas.
Nowhere near the strip.